Coronavirus Confessions

Hi Friends,

How is everyone doing this fine quarantine morning?  I hope you are all healthy, staying home and staying safe.  I did not blog last week because it was a rough week for me.  We are all healthy, I was just very crabby.  I didn’t want to spread my crabbiness.  I want this to be a happy place.  But then I thought, that is ridiculous.  Everyone gets angry/frustrated/overwhelmed/crabby at times.  Best thing to do is recognize it, feel it, deal with it and then move on.  So let’s do that.

I think my cranky mood was a culmination of many things:
1.  The week prior, school was officially cancelled through the end of the year. I knew that was going to happen but it being official felt different.img_7773
2. Easter was over. My cousin pointed this out to me and she was so spot on. We were all excited and looking forward to something. Once it was over it felt like there was nothing to look forward to anymore.

3. I lost focus. I drifted through my days and did not spend my time wisely. I did not keep to a schedule for myself even though I kept one for my kids. BIG MISTAKE! I spent hours on the internet looking for toilet paper* and sponges. All I wanted to do was read my book but I felt like that was a waste of time. Wrong, searching for nonexistent things on the internet is a waste of time. Reading is enjoyable and would have put me in a better mood.

4. I had lost sight of my “One Day At A Time” approach to this situation. I was looking at the big picture and thinking of all the people I can’t see. How long until I get to see them again? How long until I get to hug them? And all the places I can’t go, when will we get to go somewhere? Anywhere?

5. It was week 5 (now week 6). Let’s face it, it’s normal to be cranky.

*I need to sidebar about the toilet paper for a second.  How is there still no toilet paper?!?!!  I was not one of the people who hoarded toilet paper.  We had plenty at home because I usually buy a large package.  Fine.  All the people that don’t will buy it now and then when I need some in a few weeks it will be there.  It still isn’t there.  Now I actually need toilet paper.  You hoarders can’t tell me you used 96 rolls of toilet paper in the last month.  What are you doing with it?  Are you using it for blankets?  Please leave some for the rest of us. Moving on…

So, what did I do to get out of my cranky mood:
1. I continued with my daily walks outside all by myself. I love this hour alone and I am thankful I live in a place where I can take a walk. I am thankful that it is spring and we aren’t in quarantine in the dead of winter. Sometimes I call dear friends or family on my walks but most of the time I listen to an audiobook. My current obsession is Jessica Simpson’s Open Book. I am not a Jessica Simpson fan but I can’t get enough of this book!

2. I had a FaceTime book club meeting. Our book club is very small (4 people) and it is only family. The timing was impeccable and I REALLY needed it. The day before book club I discussed with a friend over the phone (while on my walk): are these virtual meetings really helping anyone? We had different opinions. Here is my take: if you are REALLY close to the people and it isn’t too large of a group then they are great! If you aren’t super close and/or if it is too many people it is just a lot of noise and that isn’t helping anyone.

3. I recognized I had lost sight of my “One Day At A Time” approach to this situation. Remember One. Day. At. A. Time. Say it like a mantra. Today we are healthy. Today we have food in the pantry. Today is good. One day at a time!

4. I got up and did something. I was wallowing and not wanting to do anything. I rationalized it by saying I have plenty of time to do “x” later. Well, get it done! Check it off the list! It feels good. I’m not saying everyone has to be go, go, go all the time. But doing nothing is an easy habit to get into and it eventually makes me feel worse. So, we worked on the yard for the last two days and I feel SO much better. Then I was happy enough to make a great dinner. We enjoyed it outside on our clean patio, on one of the 3 perfect weather days we get a year in St. Louis. Then, we had cake I found in the freezer and played a game. It was a great day. Truly, my whole attitude has improved just by doing some yard work. I might tackle cleaning the oven next.

I hope sharing my ups and downs helps you realize you are not alone. You don’t have to be a superhero but you don’t have to be a Debbie-downer either. Everyone has a rough patch and that is ok. Reach out to someone when you are going through one. Reach out to me. Be honest with yourself and deal with it. Don’t push it down or wallow in it. Don’t pretend it isn’t there. We will get through this together. Alone together. We can do this!

In my opinion, laughter always helps. I know this is a pandemic but sometimes we have to laugh at it just to make ourselves feel better and that is ok. With that in mind, I present to you some of my favorites to come from the dreaded coronavirus.  Warning: there are some bad words.

And some videos that crack me up

To all our healthcare workers, grocery store workers, custodial workers, pharmacy workers, first responders, delivery drivers and all other people putting themselves on the front lines I thank you from the bottom of my heart!  We are going crazy cooped up at home but we are not in the danger you are subjecting yourself (and your family) to each and every day. So again, I say THANK YOU!  I promise to do all I can to make your job easier.  Your sacrifices are healing the world right now so I am happy to sacrifice for you.

Stay home, stay healthy, stay safe.


6 thoughts on “Coronavirus Confessions

  1. Wow!!! You needed to get all of that out I must say. But your ending is what I shared last evening with friends – we were apart – trust me. Many feel as you mentioned, but we know no one has it harder than our dedicated people on the line, everyday. I hope everyone of them goes straight to heaven. My heart is with them, and the sick and the caregivers. And St. Louis has been blessed with the most beautiful spring I ever remember. Everyone – please don’t start giving up on isolation – we will then celebrate sooner and in style.

    1. Couldn’t agree more! If we all stay home now the sooner we can get back to normal!

  2. A follow-up to my previous post…I admire you for sharing your frustrations then turn it around with solutions which help all of us. It isn’t easy to be a voice and you do it with a resourceful twist. Made me think. Kuddos!

  3. Thanks, Emily. I miss seeing faces… actual faces… no masks. But I certainly recognize the need for masks and gloves. I know it will all end eventually, but it does start to drive me nuts. My days aren’t too different. Being retired helps a person cope with quarantine. I look forward to your emails and this one came at a good time, I guess. I feel better after reading it because it made me laugh and realize what a wonderful niece, person, cousin, mom, friend, writer, cook, baker, and communicator you are. I love you, Emily. Aunt Clare

    1. I definitely have my rough days but I look for the laughter too. Love you so much!

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